Soap is not a condiment
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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