woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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