I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
