So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
