im six kinds of drunk right now
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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