That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
