No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
