apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
