Buhtt sex?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
