dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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