If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
