Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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