he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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