You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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