If i could tip my vagina, i would.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
