please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
