spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
