So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
