is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
