i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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