she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
my penis made a compromise with my morals
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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