I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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