My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I think your dad took our porno
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
