First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize