He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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