The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
