why do cheetos always look like penises
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
