I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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