its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
