I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
