you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
