Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
