So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
