I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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