remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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