we have pet lesbian snakes
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
