True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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