i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
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