At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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