It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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