Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
