Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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