I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize