Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
