the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
