Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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