Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
