i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
