I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
