chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I need to stop coming to work sober
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
The beer is more important than you right now.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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