My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
This house was built for laser tag.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
