why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
