D3 body, D1 cock
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Randomize
