no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
