I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
