puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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