He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
