I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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