Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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