I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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