I love black thongs
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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